I feel like writing an entry sometimes although I really have nothing new to say. I’m still thinking about the same things, complaining about the same thing, nothing I do seems constructive anyway. I don’t even know how long I will continue bitching about things, but right now, things ain’t very pretty. Now I can look forward to my train ride in December, but what about after that? I don’t seem to be able to find anything else to look forward to, but I feel like it’s something I need to do.
1 November
It has already been over 6 months since I finished my undergraduate studies. Time sure is flying by. I am still not very used to the life after university, not liking it too much either. I seem to have lost the passion to do things, to get involved and not missed out on life. I am just sitting around every day, and life right now is nothing but going to work, keeping myself alive, and paying bills and my student loan. I don't have a car yet, and it is really hard to get myself around town in Calgary, and I seem to have lost the interest of getting myself around town as well. The weather is not very bicycle-friendly right now, a little on the chilly side, and I find myself just sitting at home and doing nothing after work and on weekends. I miss Kingston. I miss the fact that everything is within reach on foot and friends are all close by. I feel stranded here in Calgary. There are no passenger trains here to ride, not even a lot of trains to see. Trains have all of a sudden become such a luxury. I don't really have much against this city, it's beautiful, and I love the bike trails and the river, but it just doesn't feel like home. I just can't imagine myself living here for too long. Graduate school looks too distant, if I want a car, I have to take extra years to repay my student loans than I originally planned. I am in a big self conflict, I want to be able to save up some money and get out of here as soon as possible, but I am also sick of freezing at a bus stop, taking forever to get where I need to go, it is like high school days all over again, and I really hated those days.
I listed this blog publicly today. I might as well show it to people if I post stuff on here, I mean if I wanted to just talk to myself, I don't need to spend so much time typing it up. I'm no writer and the last time I've taken English is in the summer of 11th grade. There are probably tons of grammatical errors in the stuff I write, but what the hell, here it is, if anybody really cares to look. I'll thank whoever that actually takes the time to read what I have to say, although there might not have been anybody.
I am wasting my life away, and before I realise it, I'll be in my deathbed, weeping and regretting. But right now I have no power or intention to save myself...
My beloved, when will I see you again?
I listed this blog publicly today. I might as well show it to people if I post stuff on here, I mean if I wanted to just talk to myself, I don't need to spend so much time typing it up. I'm no writer and the last time I've taken English is in the summer of 11th grade. There are probably tons of grammatical errors in the stuff I write, but what the hell, here it is, if anybody really cares to look. I'll thank whoever that actually takes the time to read what I have to say, although there might not have been anybody.
I am wasting my life away, and before I realise it, I'll be in my deathbed, weeping and regretting. But right now I have no power or intention to save myself...
My beloved, when will I see you again?
Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing.
Feel free to describe me in any words. Dealing with people is just way too complicated for me. A linear mind is incapable of understanding and processing nonlinear outputs and react to / process them in an appropriate manner.
Misfortune and Opportunity
I’ve been in conflict with myself lately. Certain opportunity arose upon one’s possible misfortune. Do I take this chance and make myself visible? I certainly will. I can’t help but feeling both happy and a little guilty inside, someone else is suffering too.
I am ready to pack everything I have and throw it in one punch. I will make things right. But if things do end up happening the way favouring my interest, what next?
The Wait
I can’t wait until 10-Oct… This month is going to go by so slowly… And then 10-17 Oct will just feel like a breeze and everything will go back to its crappy normal state…
Change
A few changes happened. Since the day I finished school, the need of two full-spec computers seems to have kept diminishing. The day had finally come, and I had replaced one of my computers, the Mac Mini (“lunchBox” is the name I gave it, and it is literally what its simple and elegant body resembles). It had been a very loyal workhorse and good friend. I have always loved it. It is such a perfect little desktop computer for someone like me who does not require a very powerful computer and cares a lot about form factor and energy consumption.
The computer that replaced the Mac Mini is a netbook. Asus Eee PC 1101HA. The specs are average, but it has an impressive battery life of 10 hours, and an 11.6 inch 720p screen. The 1101HA will be my new travel companion and it is meant to be used to the full of its extent. It is not a fast machine, I experience lags even just writing this blog using Windows Live Writer, but I did not exactly pay too much for it either. Hopefully the form factor, screen, and battery life will make this replacement worth a while, unlike the short-lived Dell Inspiron Mini 9 I had a few months ago. Unfortunately though, I am stuck with Windows XP on this Eee PC, since it uses the Intel GMA 500 graphics chipset. There are not yet any formal Linux drivers for it, and there will not be any for another while. Hopefully the drivers will eventually come before this netbook reaches its end-of-life (for me).
I kept my MacBook and started using it as a desktop computer with its lid closed. However I am still keeping the option of using extended desktop open, although it does not seem that useful to me anymore since the end of my school life. Although the “SuperDumbDrive” no longer works, I have an functional external DVD-RW in case I ever need it. I am looking at keeping the MacBook for maybe another year or at most two. Then it will be most likely replaced by the 16.4 or 18 inch Sony VAIO. I will make sure that Linux will work on the one I buy when the time comes.
Feeling outdated...
As I was breaking my head trying figure out a cheap and convenient way to turn my Mac Mini into a central media server, I suddenly found something on the web - network external hard disks... They are widely available apparently, and are inexpensive. I felt a little stupid for a while... I haven't paid attention to technology for a while I guess, and now it seems like a completely different world out there.
Received and installed my Snow Leopard on my MacBook. It does not look too different from Leopard, but it does feel faster, especially during boot up and shut down. Will install it on my Mac Mini this weekend, it is probably the computer that needs Snow Leopard more. I've decided to retire the Mac Mini when the next OS X rolls out, and I am still trying to decide what to do with my MacBook since now the "SuperDumbDrive" decided to not read any DVDs at all. Luckily I bought my external DVD-RW drive, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to even install Snow Leopard. Maybe some day I'll try trading it in at SonyStyle or something, since my next computer will most likely be a PC running on Linux and Windows on the side if I still run Microsoft Train Simulator (or if it's powerful enough, I can just run it in a virtual machine of some sort).
Excited for the long weekend, it's time to catch up with some sleep after the shenanigans last weekend. I'll probably look for some place to bike to on one of the days and take some pictures (of trains hopefully). I really want to ride a passenger train these days, it's like how some people crave for junk food once in a while, except that passenger trains have nothing in common with junk food and they are to be the saviour of the world. Yes, I love passenger rail, and too bad there isn't any available in Calgary. What a pity.
Received and installed my Snow Leopard on my MacBook. It does not look too different from Leopard, but it does feel faster, especially during boot up and shut down. Will install it on my Mac Mini this weekend, it is probably the computer that needs Snow Leopard more. I've decided to retire the Mac Mini when the next OS X rolls out, and I am still trying to decide what to do with my MacBook since now the "SuperDumbDrive" decided to not read any DVDs at all. Luckily I bought my external DVD-RW drive, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to even install Snow Leopard. Maybe some day I'll try trading it in at SonyStyle or something, since my next computer will most likely be a PC running on Linux and Windows on the side if I still run Microsoft Train Simulator (or if it's powerful enough, I can just run it in a virtual machine of some sort).
Excited for the long weekend, it's time to catch up with some sleep after the shenanigans last weekend. I'll probably look for some place to bike to on one of the days and take some pictures (of trains hopefully). I really want to ride a passenger train these days, it's like how some people crave for junk food once in a while, except that passenger trains have nothing in common with junk food and they are to be the saviour of the world. Yes, I love passenger rail, and too bad there isn't any available in Calgary. What a pity.
Bike, Rebel XS
Time for another update on this last day of the month August of 2009.
Installed fenders on my bike finally, I bought them the day before my 10% off coupon expired. It was easy but took a while since I had to take the back wheel and one side of the brakes off. They were adjustable fenders and have metal rods sticking out a little, not the best looking fenders in the world, but I still though my bike looked sexier with them on. I biked to Cochrane with my friend's father this past weekend. It was a nice 50 mi. ride overall including touring the town a little bit. I had the famous ice cream there, it was delicious.
Also received my Rebel XS kit in the mail about a week ago. I bought it from Dell during the 48-hr sale earlier this month. Cost me $440 plus tax, a saving of $270 from the XSi. However the lens included was not an IS lens, but either way I was going to buy another lens some time later on anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal.
Work has been okay. Nothing too exciting, just chugging through. I'm looking forward to the long weekend. A buddy (the same person whose father I biked with) from school is going to be in town for a few days, it should be fun. I can't wait until October to visit Kingston and ride the Via Rail on the CN Kingston Sub again. It has been so long since I last rode on a real train (I do ride the CTrain home every day from work, but it's just different from an intercity passenger train).
It has been quite a depressing week. Weather hasn't been very good and it was awfully cool for August (or at least for me). The plan to bike to Cochrane was postponed because of the not-so-pleasant weather this weekend, but I still managed to bike for a few hours by myself in the south east of the city.
The bad thing though, I fell off my bike while I was not paying attention to the curb. I got a pretty big scrape on my right knee. I don't have big enough bandages at home and I will have to visit the first aid box and maybe Shoppers first thing at work tomorrow.
The camping trip next weekend should be fun, hopefully the weather won't ruin it. The weather fluctuates a little too much and doesn't seem predictable at all. I have only gone camping once before. It was a rainy weekend, and I was really not fond of the dirty bathrooms. It was with the church, too.
I finally got off my lazy buttock and updated the pages on my website about my trip in England back in May. That was pretty much the only productive thing I did all weekend. I did not clean my place because I didn't want to bend with my disgusting wound on the knee. Oh well... It'll heal, sooner or later. Sooner though I hope.
The bad thing though, I fell off my bike while I was not paying attention to the curb. I got a pretty big scrape on my right knee. I don't have big enough bandages at home and I will have to visit the first aid box and maybe Shoppers first thing at work tomorrow.
The camping trip next weekend should be fun, hopefully the weather won't ruin it. The weather fluctuates a little too much and doesn't seem predictable at all. I have only gone camping once before. It was a rainy weekend, and I was really not fond of the dirty bathrooms. It was with the church, too.
I finally got off my lazy buttock and updated the pages on my website about my trip in England back in May. That was pretty much the only productive thing I did all weekend. I did not clean my place because I didn't want to bend with my disgusting wound on the knee. Oh well... It'll heal, sooner or later. Sooner though I hope.
Spending, more spending... My debts have been piling up like never before, and having a job does not seem to help in any way.
Although I know part of the reason that I am owing lots of money because I just moved to Calgary and the cheap flight/train tickets I have bought for my trip back home in October and December, it still feels like somehow there is just no end to this stream of cash I spent that I do not even yet have. Hopefully by the end of my OSAP grace period I will have been able to pay off my credit card debts first. Otherwise I will have a really hard time trying to stand on my feet. It makes me wonder, when I look at all the fancy things people buy, especially the young ones, how in the world are they able to afford all that stuff? Though fortunately I am used to being in debt. I have been in debts ever since Day 1 of university back in 2005, it is just now that I have more debts than ever. I hope things will go somewhat according to plan, so I can actually be able to pay off OSAP and maybe afford to finance a car a couple of years later. It sucks a lot living without a car in Calgary. The public transit system might be efficient, but it is by no means convenient. It takes forever to go anywhere...
It is only Tuesday night, and I already feel burnt out... Sometimes I hope that I don't have friends, so I don't have friends so I don't have to put up with all their dining out so frequently... I do need to save every penny I can right now.
Apparently it has been more than a month since I last updated this blog. Maybe this place deserves a little more attention than what I have been given it.
Life seems slow. Work is not all that exciting and there has been all kinds of glitches and bumps that are stopping me from willing to try. I was excited and pumped before I started this job, and although I have been working for two months, there had been nothing that I could show my true potential with. I am disliking corporate life more each day, but I also find that I am slowly settling into this lazy, slow, soulless lifestyle. There is light though, hopefully things will pick up when this project my team and I are tied up with is done, if I don't somehow get laid off by then.
I have been trying to have a life. I have been biking a lot. Calgary is an awesome city if I overlook the hypocrisy, materialism, and the fact that there is no passenger rail service. The first two factors should not have mattered though, Calgary is just as good as any other place in this world. We live in a materialistic world full of hypocrites, anyway.
There are two things that I feel strongly these days. This world needs more people who are passionate about the railroad and railroading. This nation is too nearsighted.
An Overdue Update
It has been a long while since I last updated I think. Things have been all right lately. I moved out to Calgary on 8-June, crashed at a buddy's place for a week, then found my own place. Although it is not big nor close to downtown, the landlord is a nice person, and so far I do not have any complains.
Work has been fine too, although I have not been feeling very productive at all. I am still in the process of getting everything set up and clearing the access issues. I guess things like these aren't always first priority in big corporations. Real life is a bit scary though, I really miss the days when I was still in school.
Calgary is a pretty cool city. There are a lot of nice cars and pickup trucks, way too many of them. The weather is a little crazy but at least it is dry. The transit system is not the greatest but at least it does not cost a fortune. Cost of living here is a bit more than Toronto, Safeway is so expensive it makes Loblaws prices look like bargains. Sales tax is low though, so it offsets some of the cost.
I miss school, even though I actually get paid now.
Work has been fine too, although I have not been feeling very productive at all. I am still in the process of getting everything set up and clearing the access issues. I guess things like these aren't always first priority in big corporations. Real life is a bit scary though, I really miss the days when I was still in school.
Calgary is a pretty cool city. There are a lot of nice cars and pickup trucks, way too many of them. The weather is a little crazy but at least it is dry. The transit system is not the greatest but at least it does not cost a fortune. Cost of living here is a bit more than Toronto, Safeway is so expensive it makes Loblaws prices look like bargains. Sales tax is low though, so it offsets some of the cost.
I miss school, even though I actually get paid now.
A Little Polishing Here and There
So now that I have all the time in my hands, I have decided to mess around with this blog and etc. I goofed around online to hunt down some new templates. This one I am using right now was one of the more appealing ones I found. I found it simple, elegant, and easy on the eye. I want to be able to make my own blog template some day though, although right now it is looking a lot harder than I expected, since, well, I am pretty much a computer newb. I got myself a copy of Master Collection CS4, but after a few minutes of poking around with it, I still didn't have a clue on how this whole fancy web business was done. Maybe some day I should take a course or two from some college when I have time and money.
I have already spent $1,500 on my trip by sitting in my room in Markham. It seems like it is gonna be way over budget, although partially I am the one to blame. While I checked out BritRail's website on rail passes, I somehow did not happen to spot the "for Eurail Pass holders" line for the $169 youth England Pass. Instead, the pass I am entitled to buy is the $269 youth pass. Then during check-out, I found out that instead of me picking up the pass in England, I had to get it shipped to me. Since I am leaving next Thursday, I have to opt for priority shipping, costing $34. Fortunately I did not wait until the day before my flight to buy that pass, nor did I decide to fly with Air Canada because of the few aeroplan miles and a good in-flight entertainment system... The Boeing 777-200LR aircrafts Air India operates are fairly recent though (this variant of the Boeing 777 was introduced in 2006), hopefully the flight will not be too painful to endure. If there is nothing on the plane though, I hope that I do get the lovely little Embraer E90 for the flight to Calgary later in June...
Anyway, peace out for now.
Motivation... less
I have been sitting home for almost two weeks or so. Other than the tedious unpacking, packing, and cleaning, there has not been anything interesting to do. The death of my PlayStation 2 only made the boredom more unbearable. However, this is not to last, so maybe it is good to just home and waste some time while I can.
I will be going on a trip for a week, partially by myself, to England, leaving next Thursday. It will be exciting and I will hopefully be enjoying some great English tea (although they are all grown in Asia). I will also get an 8-day BritRail England Pass, which will entitle me to unlimited rail travel within the country of England. With this pass, I shall experience the ride of pride and joy of British Rail, namely the First Great Western 125 mph Class 43 HST Push-Pull diesel-electric trainset and the Virgin Trains 125 mph Class 390 Pendolino tilting EMU. I will also be visiting the British National Railway Museum located in York.
This trip will be legit. I love trains.
I will be going on a trip for a week, partially by myself, to England, leaving next Thursday. It will be exciting and I will hopefully be enjoying some great English tea (although they are all grown in Asia). I will also get an 8-day BritRail England Pass, which will entitle me to unlimited rail travel within the country of England. With this pass, I shall experience the ride of pride and joy of British Rail, namely the First Great Western 125 mph Class 43 HST Push-Pull diesel-electric trainset and the Virgin Trains 125 mph Class 390 Pendolino tilting EMU. I will also be visiting the British National Railway Museum located in York.
This trip will be legit. I love trains.
Week in Review
I can't believe that the last semester (hopefully) of my undergraduate life is halfway done already. I've done my first midterm exam yesterday, and well, I messed it up a little, but hopefully it'll turn out fine in the end.
I am extremely unmotivated this semester for some reason. Somehow I don't want school life to end yet. There's so much more I could and would have done at school. It's all too short and too sweet. However I at least started getting involved with a bunch of different things at school since the end of my Second Year, so there are at least things that I can look back in the future and feel that I once belonged to this university and this city.
I actually don't like moving around. I wanna find a place I can call home and just settle down. The process is a lot harder than I imagined though, you just can't have everything all at once place. At least though, if everything actually goes according to plan this time, I'll be able to live in a city that is close enough to the ideal city I described when I was on board of the Empire Builder last summer. There will be rivers, mountains, and light rail transit system.
I'm supposed to be talking about my week here, I guess I got carried away again. Anyway, I am really looking forward to the train ride tomorrow. There won't be many more chances for me to zoom down the Corridor at 100 mph on an LRC. There is no regular passenger rail services in Calgary.
I am extremely unmotivated this semester for some reason. Somehow I don't want school life to end yet. There's so much more I could and would have done at school. It's all too short and too sweet. However I at least started getting involved with a bunch of different things at school since the end of my Second Year, so there are at least things that I can look back in the future and feel that I once belonged to this university and this city.
I actually don't like moving around. I wanna find a place I can call home and just settle down. The process is a lot harder than I imagined though, you just can't have everything all at once place. At least though, if everything actually goes according to plan this time, I'll be able to live in a city that is close enough to the ideal city I described when I was on board of the Empire Builder last summer. There will be rivers, mountains, and light rail transit system.
I'm supposed to be talking about my week here, I guess I got carried away again. Anyway, I am really looking forward to the train ride tomorrow. There won't be many more chances for me to zoom down the Corridor at 100 mph on an LRC. There is no regular passenger rail services in Calgary.
It has been a busy week, and I have actually been semi-productive. I didn't have as much time to think about the random things that I do, I guess this would be the plus side of this past week. It is scary to think about how my last semester in undergrad is almost half way done, I have just realised that it is already midterm season.
It is Friday night, therefore I've just had some time to think about the random things. I hate my head sometimes, but I have to deal with it. Oh well, I should probably not dwell in trying to discuss what kind of junk there is in my tiny pathetic brain.
I don't really have anything exciting to share, because what's been in my head is still in my head, it'll probably still take some time for me to be able to dump the crap out.
Oh one unexpected event though, I'll be able to ride the Via Rail in a week, since I need to go to my parents' house and fix the computers, apparently both of them have decided to go on strike. I shall go see the dentist as well since a piece of my tooth just randomly chipped off a couple days ago... Reading week will be a little more eventful than I originally expected. Let's see.
It is Friday night, therefore I've just had some time to think about the random things. I hate my head sometimes, but I have to deal with it. Oh well, I should probably not dwell in trying to discuss what kind of junk there is in my tiny pathetic brain.
I don't really have anything exciting to share, because what's been in my head is still in my head, it'll probably still take some time for me to be able to dump the crap out.
Oh one unexpected event though, I'll be able to ride the Via Rail in a week, since I need to go to my parents' house and fix the computers, apparently both of them have decided to go on strike. I shall go see the dentist as well since a piece of my tooth just randomly chipped off a couple days ago... Reading week will be a little more eventful than I originally expected. Let's see.
[Title]
So, I gave my speech, and I was nervous as hell. It went all right though, I think, and there was a huge turnout in Jeffery Hall.
I've been having irregular meals this semester, since my schedule's a little messed up, hopefully it won't bring back my old stomach problems. I was a stupid kid and I had ruined my own stomach by eating too much chili peppers when I was only in grade school.
I might need to cut down on the coffee too, I've been drinking a little too much of it lately, averaging 3 cups a day this week so far. But I haven't had a lot of tea this week, so I guess it's fine. Hell no I'm not an addict. I just freak out when someone tries to stop me from having at least a cup of coffee/tea a day. No I'm not an addict at all.
A buddy just called and asked me if I'd go see the Trailer Park Boys at K-Rock Centre. I can't, not really, since the Ontario government has screwed me over with their stupid OSAP policies which were clearly made by a whole bunch of donkeys. Also thanks to the economy, I can't get a Line of Credit either since I can't get a willing cosigner who is employed, HA! Then again, it is Ontario, the biggest dump hole in Canada at the moment, what can I say?
Oh well, time to hit the sack, I have to go to work at 8:30.
I've been having irregular meals this semester, since my schedule's a little messed up, hopefully it won't bring back my old stomach problems. I was a stupid kid and I had ruined my own stomach by eating too much chili peppers when I was only in grade school.
I might need to cut down on the coffee too, I've been drinking a little too much of it lately, averaging 3 cups a day this week so far. But I haven't had a lot of tea this week, so I guess it's fine. Hell no I'm not an addict. I just freak out when someone tries to stop me from having at least a cup of coffee/tea a day. No I'm not an addict at all.
A buddy just called and asked me if I'd go see the Trailer Park Boys at K-Rock Centre. I can't, not really, since the Ontario government has screwed me over with their stupid OSAP policies which were clearly made by a whole bunch of donkeys. Also thanks to the economy, I can't get a Line of Credit either since I can't get a willing cosigner who is employed, HA! Then again, it is Ontario, the biggest dump hole in Canada at the moment, what can I say?
Oh well, time to hit the sack, I have to go to work at 8:30.
Lazy Weekend
It's the first weekend of the new semester. I have not really done anything productive. Sat in my room and watched random movies and TV shows on my computer, and did that most of the time today as well. I guess I can always use the excuse that I'm recovering from a cold, but I will have to buckle down and do some serious work sooner or later.
I took a look at the notes my professor sent me about my thesis project. I read it and got completely lost. It seems like it's written in a completely different language, and the complexity of the formulae present in the notes are just mind blowing (although however, I do understand the reason why they equations seem a lot more mind blowing than they actually are, and roughly where the equations come from). I'll see how it goes. Right now I'm just being lazy.
I tried to study some turbomachines notes, and I looked at the problem to be presented in the upcoming tutorial. It seemed fine, well, since I was merely reading and following through. I guess I'll really know if I understand it or not when I start doing the assignment for this week.
I still haven't replied my friend's letter. I should do it soon... Nothing much has happened so far this year but I already feel that things are piling up. Somehow I have a bad feeling about this semester. Hopefully I am just being a little too paranoid.
... β
January Again
It is already a week into the Winter Semester. Things are all right so far, however for some reason I'm just not motivated at all to do anything productive.
Fall Semester grades were released. I did not do well at all on Probability as I expected. It's just one of those subjects that no matter how hard I try, I just can't wrap my head around it. I passed though, and the grade isn't really that bad, I am satisfied. Apparently my Philosophy of Science grade is in the top 14% of the class, and I have done minimal studying for that class and the final exam. I did put efforts into the essays I wrote for the class, and did some research for the final exam, but the outcome was rather surprising. Maybe I am good at making arguments after all. I did fine on Control Theory and Ergonomics. The grades were both a little better than I thought.
It is time of year again for first year students to start considering which engineering programme they want to continue on with in second year. I am invited to be one of the student speakers at this year's orientation for Apple Math. Although I've done a lot of work in recruitment for both the Faculty and Apple Math, by no means I'm a very good public speaker. This time, I will be speaking in front of possibly more than 100 people, including first year students, my classmates, alumni, and my professors. Nonetheless, I am still very excited for this opportunity, and will try my best to give a honest and motivating speech (I can already imagine how nervous I will be).
Despite of what I mentioned above about the stuff that might make life seem pretty glorious at the moment. I'm in a huge mess in the personal life/emotion department. I am hopeless and pathetic, and to be completely honest, I do not at all know how to discuss this matter further... I have no right to be depressed at the moment though, I have everything. I am asking for too much, I know, but it's just not helping...
Fall Semester grades were released. I did not do well at all on Probability as I expected. It's just one of those subjects that no matter how hard I try, I just can't wrap my head around it. I passed though, and the grade isn't really that bad, I am satisfied. Apparently my Philosophy of Science grade is in the top 14% of the class, and I have done minimal studying for that class and the final exam. I did put efforts into the essays I wrote for the class, and did some research for the final exam, but the outcome was rather surprising. Maybe I am good at making arguments after all. I did fine on Control Theory and Ergonomics. The grades were both a little better than I thought.
It is time of year again for first year students to start considering which engineering programme they want to continue on with in second year. I am invited to be one of the student speakers at this year's orientation for Apple Math. Although I've done a lot of work in recruitment for both the Faculty and Apple Math, by no means I'm a very good public speaker. This time, I will be speaking in front of possibly more than 100 people, including first year students, my classmates, alumni, and my professors. Nonetheless, I am still very excited for this opportunity, and will try my best to give a honest and motivating speech (I can already imagine how nervous I will be).
Despite of what I mentioned above about the stuff that might make life seem pretty glorious at the moment. I'm in a huge mess in the personal life/emotion department. I am hopeless and pathetic, and to be completely honest, I do not at all know how to discuss this matter further... I have no right to be depressed at the moment though, I have everything. I am asking for too much, I know, but it's just not helping...
...
The cupcakes were really delicious.
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